100 Dark Humor Jokes: Laughing on the Edge

Introduction

In the vast universe of humor, dark jokes occupy a niche that’s both risky and riotous. They’re the jokes that make you laugh and then immediately question, “Should I have laughed at that?” Delving deep into the realms of controversial, edgy humor, this compilation offers a medley of “Dark Humor Jokes” for those who appreciate comedy with a touch of the taboo. Brace yourselves; it’s going to be a wild, wicked ride!

100 Dark Humor Jokes

1. My Tito told me he survived three natural disasters. I asked, ‘Typhoons?’ He replied, ‘No, my ex-wives.’
2. I told my friend I wanted something exotic from the Philippines. He sent me a postcard from a funeral… with the hashtag #OnlyInThePhilippines.
3. My cousin from Manila said he got me a unique gift. Turned out to be traffic stress in a bottle.
4. Visited the Philippines and said I wanted an authentic experience. Woke up the next day buried in rice fields.
5. I asked my Filipino friend how he deals with the heat. He said, ‘By staying in the kitchen. And if you can’t stand it, become the lechon.’
6. I dated a Filipino girl once. I told her I love surprises. She introduced me to her husband.
7. My friend bragged about Filipino time. So I showed up to his funeral an hour late.
8. I once told my Filipino aunt her adobo was to die for. She said, ‘That’s the idea.’
9. Wanted to surprise my Filipino girlfriend. So I told her I’d pick her up at 7 pm and actually did.
10. They say in the Philippines, family comes first. And if you owe them money, they come even faster.
11. My girlfriend from Manila told me she wanted to spice things up. The next day, she introduced me to her husband.
12. I told my therapist I wanted to be more honest in my relationships. Now I’m single and my parents aren’t talking to me.
13. My friend told me he’s living the dream. I didn’t know dreams included two divorces and a repoed car.
14. I once asked my gym teacher how to do a perfect push-up. He said, ‘Imagine the floor’s your cousin and you’re at a family reunion.’
15. They say laughter is the best medicine. Unless you have diarrhea, then it’s more of a problem.
16. My girlfriend told me she wanted to spice things up in the bedroom. So, I replaced her antidepressants with Tic Tacs.
17. I thought about joining the ‘Mile High Club’. But the airplane bathroom mirror wasn’t flattering.
18. My friend bragged about being on a seafood diet. I said, ‘I see food and eat it too. Mostly when I’m stress-eating over your life decisions.’
19. I tried online dating. My match was my credit score. Both disappointingly low.
20. My friend told me he’s in a serious relationship. I said, ‘With who?’ He replied, ‘Depression.’
21. Someone told me to live each day like it’s my last. So now, I panic and cry a lot.
22. My vegan friend said she knows a meat substitute for everything. Introduced her to my ex; she couldn’t find a substitute for that beef.
23. They told me to act my age, not my shoe size. Joke’s on them, both are stuck in the past.
24. Tried meditation to find myself. Ended up with an eviction notice from my own mind.
25. They say love is blind. But debt collectors seem to find me just fine.
26. My therapist said I should open up more. So now I overshare with strangers on the bus.
27. I decided to take a day off from being an adult. Got arrested for truancy.
28. A friend told me to chase my dreams. Now I’m out of breath and even further behind on my rent.
29. If relationships are like wine, mine are more like milk. A short shelf life and a sour ending.
30. Heard money doesn’t grow on trees. But my credit card bills must be photosynthesizing.
31. I went to a support group for procrastinators. It’s been postponed indefinitely.
32. I tried a self-help book on optimism. Now I’m positively broke.
33. People say, “Dress for the job you want.” Apparently, pajamas aren’t CEO material.
34. I bought a memory foam mattress. Now it reminds me nightly of my regrets.
35. They say you are what you eat. I must’ve eaten a whole lot of failure.
36. Went to a silent retreat to find inner peace. Left with an inner riot.
37. I tried speed dating. Got a speeding ticket for how fast they all left.
38. Friends advised me to play hard to get. Turns out I’m a natural; nobody’s gotten me yet.
39. Tried a detox cleanse to get rid of negativity. Now the mirror’s empty.
40. People say to trust your gut. But mine’s been gaslighting me for years.
41. I started a dream journal. It’s just blank pages and missed opportunities.
42. I read that you shouldn’t burn bridges. But it does keep those annoying memories at bay.
43. People tell me to live in the moment. My bank says I’m living 3 months in the past.
44. Got a book on building confidence. It’s been judging me from the shelf for a year now.
45. I went to an escape room. My anxieties beat me to the exit.
46. They say practice makes perfect. But my 20th existential crisis felt just as sloppy as the first.
47. I tried to manifest success. Got a manifest of all my failed ventures instead.
48. Someone told me to break a leg on my job interview. Now I have hospital bills and no job.
49. I tried online courses to broaden my horizons. Now I’m in debt in multiple disciplines.
50. They say love is a journey. Guess I’m stuck in never-ending layovers.
51. Took up journaling to express my feelings. The pages ghosted me by day three.
52. I told my therapist I hear voices. He said I don’t have multiple personalities, just multiple creditors.
53. I joined a group for antisocial people. We haven’t met yet.
54. Someone told me to find my inner child. Found him. He’s just as disappointed in adult me.
55. I started a journey to self-discovery. Got lost around the midlife crisis.
56. Went on a blind date. Turned out to be with my self-esteem. Neither of us showed up.
57. I asked the universe for a sign. Got hit by a “For Sale” board.
58. Went to a party for premature ej… well, it was over before it began.
59. Friends said to find someone who shares my passion. Now my dog and I both eat out of the trash.
60. My vegan friend said he feels so much lighter. Probably the wallet after buying all that organic kale.
61. They said to live every day like it’s Earth Day. I recycled my exes.
62. I tried a gluten-free diet. Now I’m just free of joy.
63. People said to get more into politics. I’ve started judging everyone at family dinners.
64. I asked my therapist about gender roles. She charged me double for both perspectives.
65. Tried to support local businesses. My drug dealer appreciates it.
66. I joined a gym for mental strength. Now I’m flexing my anxieties.
67. My friend said to consider the environment before printing. So I printed that email.
68. Tried to keep up with the youths. Now TikTok recommends arthritis remedies.
69. I thought about going green. But the mold on my dishes beat me to it.
70. They told me to respect my elders. My dating app age range now starts at 60.
71. I’ve started a diet for religious reasons. I pray the weight goes away.
72. Thought of investing in crypto. But my self-worth is volatile enough.
73. I told my friend I’m thinking about the children. He’s now questioning my babysitting rates.
74. Went to a climate change rally. Just for the hot protesters.
75. I said I wanted a spiritual awakening. Got ghosted by my date.
76. Tried to get into feminism. Now my cat’s name is Empowerment.
77. I considered going organic. But my habits are already toxic enough.
78. Said I’d die for equal rights. My Wi-Fi still discriminates against my device.
79. Wanted to be a better global citizen. Got banned from five chat rooms.
80. Thought about donating to charity. My bank account said, “You ARE charity.”
81. Tried to embrace body positivity. Now my pants won’t embrace me.
82. They said to give back to the community. Didn’t know they meant my Netflix password.
83. Went to an inclusivity seminar. Was the only one there.
84. My life coach said to find my calling. Debt collectors must’ve heard it too.
85. Asked my ex for relationship advice. She handed me a restraining order.
86. My buddy said every cloud has a silver lining. Mine’s been pawned.
87. Started a “Get to Know Me” podcast. It’s just silence and occasional sobbing.
88. People told me to be the bigger person. My waistline took it literally.
89. I went to a motivational seminar. Left demotivated about the money I wasted.
90. I bought a self-driving car. It took me straight to a therapist.
91. I set my WiFi password to “POSITIVITY.” Now I can’t connect with it.
92. Someone told me to be my own hero. Ended up saving myself a seat at the bar.
93. I got a mirror that shows inner beauty. It’s been blank since.
94. People say it’s the thought that counts. My bank disagrees.
95. I tried to rekindle an old flame. Burned the house down.
96. My friend told me to chase happiness. Now I’m out of breath and it’s still miles ahead.
97. I thought about becoming a minimalist. Then realized I already have minimal money, friends, and prospects.
98. I wanted to become timeless. Now my clock doesn’t work and neither do I.
99. I tried virtual reality to escape my problems. They had premium accounts there.
100. My psychic told me I’d meet someone special. She meant the bailiff.

Conclusion

There’s something uniquely liberating about laughing at the darker shades of comedy. The likes of Anthony Jeselnik, Louis CK, Jimmy Carr, Jeff Ross, and Seth MacFarlane have built careers around pushing boundaries and confronting audiences with their audacious humor. Whether these dark humor jokes left you laughing out loud or pondering the limits of comedy, they’ve undeniably sparked a reaction. While not everyone embraces this edgy style, there’s no denying its impact in the comedy world. Thanks for journeying with us through the sharp-witted alleys of humor, and may you continue to find laughter, even when it’s cloaked in shadows.

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