Cheers to That! 9 Types of Drunks We All Know and Love (or Not)

Introduction

Ah, the Philippines – a country known for its beautiful beaches, warm hospitality, and of course, our love for good food and great drinks. I remember my first taste of the iconic San Miguel beer, a cold bottle handed to me by a friend on a warm summer night. It was the start of countless nights spent laughing, singing, and enjoying the company of friends, both old and new. From street-side inuman to the bustling bars in Metro Manila, it’s safe to say that I’ve become well-acquainted with the Filipino drinking culture.

Through my countless nights of merrymaking, I’ve come across a colorful cast of characters, each with their own unique reaction to alcohol. That’s why I’ve decided to put together this fun guide – to help you identify the 9 types of drunks you’re likely to encounter at your next inuman session, and maybe even have a good laugh in the process!

But before we dive into this tipsy taxonomy, let me just remind everyone to always drink responsibly. We’re all here to have a good time, but let’s make sure we’re doing it safely, with respect for others, and in moderation. Cheers to that! ?

The Happy Drunk

We’ve all encountered the happy drunk at some point – the life of the party who just can’t help but spread positive vibes to everyone around them. It’s like their laughter is contagious, and their good mood simply multiplies with every sip of beer or shot of lambanog. Somehow, they have the magical ability to make everyone around them feel as if everything is right in the world, at least for the moment.

I recall one unforgettable night at a karaoke joint, where we stumbled upon a happy drunk belting out classic OPM hits like there was no tomorrow. The entire room was captivated, and before we knew it, we were all singing along to “Ang Huling El Bimbo” with our newfound friend, arms around each other’s shoulders, and beaming smiles on our faces. It was a true testament to the power of the happy drunk’s infectious energy.

In a group setting, the happy drunk plays an essential role in creating a fun, carefree atmosphere. They’re the ones who keep the conversation flowing and can turn any awkward silence into a hearty laugh. So, if you’re lucky enough to have a happy drunk in your barkada, embrace their presence and let their bubbly personality lift your spirits!

Read next: Red Horse Beer Nights: What Guys Talk About When They’re Drunk

The Sleepy Drunk

The sleepy drunk is a unique character – one who battles the Sandman with every sip they take. As the night progresses, you can see their eyelids growing heavier, their speech slowing down, and their head bobbing like a dashboard toy. They might even drift off mid-sentence, only to snap back to attention and insist they’re still “totally awake.”

At parties or gatherings, sleepy drunks often become human pillows – slumped in corners, dozing off on couches, or even catching some z’s right there on the floor. And you know what? It can be quite endearing, like watching a puppy nap. Plus, if you’re feeling tired yourself, you can always join them for a little power nap, using their shoulder or lap as a makeshift pillow.

When it comes to handling a sleepy drunk friend, the key is to be understanding and mindful of their limits. If they’re really struggling to stay awake, it might be best to help them find a safe, comfortable spot to rest. And when it’s time to head home, make sure they get back safely – whether that means accompanying them in a Grab or making sure they don’t doze off on the jeepney. Remember, a good friend ensures that everyone gets their beauty sleep, even after a wild night out!

The Emotional Drunk

The emotional drunk is a fascinating creature, as alcohol seems to open up the floodgates to a rollercoaster of emotions – from uncontrollable laughter to heart-wrenching tears. One moment, they’re gushing about how much they love their friends, and the next, they’re lamenting a long-lost love or sharing their deepest insecurities. It’s like watching a Judy Ann Santos teleserye unfold right before your eyes.

I’ll never forget the night when a heart-to-heart talk with an emotional drunk friend turned into a full-blown dramatic scene, complete with quotable quotes worthy of a hugot compilation. As we sat there at our favorite street-side inuman, nursing our bottles of Red Horse, my friend began to pour their heart out about a failed relationship. Between the tears and the sobs, we found ourselves reenacting lines from our favorite dramas, laughing and crying in equal measure.

When it comes to supporting an emotional drunk, it’s important to listen and empathize, while also keeping an eye on their well-being. Sometimes, all they need is a shoulder to cry on or someone to validate their feelings. However, if the emotions become too overwhelming or lead to potentially harmful behavior, it might be necessary to intervene and help them regain control. A true friend knows when to lend an ear and when to step in for the sake of their buddy’s emotional health.

The Philosophical Drunk

Enter the philosophical drunk – a fascinating individual who, after a few drinks, starts pondering the meaning of life, the universe, and everything in between. Their thoughts become deeper than the Marianas Trench, and their questions can leave you scratching your head, wondering if you’ve stumbled into a late-night philosophy class rather than a casual drinking session.

I recall one memorable night when a philosophical drunk friend and I found ourselves in a heated discussion about the meaning of life, love, and – of all things – balut. With each swig of our Tanduay, our conversation delved deeper into the mysteries of the human experience, exploring topics like destiny, free will, and whether the perfect adobo recipe truly exists. It was a mind-bending conversation that continued into the wee hours of the morning.

Engaging with a philosophical drunk can be both entertaining and enlightening, but if you find that the conversation is veering into territory that’s too heavy or uncomfortable, it’s perfectly fine to steer it in a different direction. You can either indulge their intellectual curiosity by playing along or gently redirect the conversation back to lighter topics like your favorite teleseryes or the latest celebrity chismis. After all, a night of inuman is about having a good time, whether that means pondering the meaning of existence or simply sharing a laugh with friends.

The Dancing Drunk

The dancing drunk is truly a sight to behold. They’re the ones who, after a few drinks, suddenly transform from a wallflower into a dance floor sensation. It’s as if the alcohol has unleashed their inner Gary Valenciano or Sarah Geronimo, and they simply can’t resist the beat. The moment the music starts, their feet begin to tap, and their body starts to groove – it’s like they’re possessed by the spirit of dance!

One unforgettable night, a shy friend of mine became the dancing drunk at a house party. As the DJ played a mix of classic and modern hits, my friend suddenly burst into an energetic performance of the “Running Man,” followed by a spot-on rendition of Sarah G’s “Tala.” The entire room was mesmerized, and we couldn’t help but join in, forming an impromptu dance circle around our new dancing queen.

When it comes to the dancing drunk, the key is to embrace and enjoy their moves. Rather than trying to suppress their enthusiasm, why not join them on the dance floor? You might be surprised at how much fun you can have, even if your dance skills don’t quite match up to their level. So, let loose, have fun, and let the dancing drunk’s infectious rhythm take you on a wild ride!

The Hungry Drunk

There’s a special type of drunk who, after a few drinks, suddenly develops an insatiable appetite – the hungry drunk. Their stomach seems to become a bottomless pit, and no amount of pulutan can satisfy their seemingly endless cravings. From chicharon to isaw, they’ll happily munch on anything within reach, all while maintaining a cheerful disposition.

One memorable night, a group of us – including a ravenous hungry drunk – found ourselves on a quest for the best sisig and lechon kawali at 3 AM. We combed through the streets of Manila, searching for an open food joint that could quench our friend’s cravings. Our persistence paid off when we discovered a hidden gem – a humble eatery that served mouth-watering, sizzling plates of sisig and crispy lechon kawali. It was a gastronomic adventure we’ll never forget.

If you’re catering to a hungry drunk, it’s essential to come prepared with an arsenal of delicious pulutan options. Some must-have recommendations include the classic sisig, crispy pata, chicharon bulaklak, and of course, the legendary isaw. With the right selection of tasty treats, you can keep the hungry drunk satisfied while enjoying a memorable night of laughter, bonding, and good food.

Read next: Pulutan Sa Inuman: 41 Perfect Beer Pairings

The Flirty Drunk

Alcohol has the power to transform even the most bashful buddy into a smooth-talking Casanova – the flirty drunk. With each sip, their confidence soars, and they suddenly have the courage to approach their crush or even strike up a conversation with a complete stranger. It’s as if the alcohol has flipped a switch, transforming them into a fearless flirt who’s ready to conquer the world of romance.

I vividly remember a night at a local bar when my flirty drunk friend decided to try their luck with a daring pick-up line. Armed with their newfound liquid courage, they approached their object of affection and smoothly delivered the line, “Are you a jeepney? Because you keep driving me crazy.” To our surprise and amusement, their bold move was met with laughter and a friendly conversation that lasted well into the night.

As a friend, it’s important to be a responsible wingman or wingwoman for the flirty drunk. Keep an eye on their interactions and make sure they’re being respectful and not crossing any boundaries. If you see them getting too forward or making someone uncomfortable, gently pull them aside and remind them of their limits. By being a supportive yet responsible friend, you can help your flirty drunk buddy navigate the world of romance without losing sight of what’s truly important – respect, consent, and genuine connection.

The Aggressive Drunk

One of the more challenging types of drunks to deal with is the aggressive drunk – a friend whose angry and confrontational side emerges after a few drinks. While it can be disheartening to see them in this state, it’s essential to remember that alcohol can sometimes amplify emotions and bring out the worst in people.

I can still recall a close call with a bar fight involving an aggressive drunk friend. Tensions were running high as heated words were exchanged, and it seemed like things were about to escalate. But, with the power of “pakikisama” – the Filipino value of camaraderie and solidarity – we managed to defuse the situation. We reminded our friend of the good times we’ve shared and the bond we’ve formed, convincing them to let go of their anger and rejoin the group.

When handling an aggressive drunk, the key is to remain calm and patient. Try to deescalate any confrontations and, if necessary, remove the person from the situation. Remind them of the importance of maintaining peace and keeping the atmosphere fun and friendly. It’s crucial to ensure everyone’s safety and well-being while still enjoying the night. With a little understanding and empathy, you can help your aggressive drunk friend find their way back to a more harmonious state of mind.

The Englishero Drunk

Have you ever encountered a friend who, after a few drinks, suddenly switches to speaking fluent English? Enter the Englishero drunk – the one who seemingly taps into a hidden reservoir of eloquence and linguistic prowess as their alcohol intake increases. It’s an amusing phenomenon that can lead to some entertaining conversations and memorable moments.

One hilarious experience involved an Englishero drunk friend at the videoke. As they belted out their favorite tunes, they began to pepper their performance with a mix of Taglish and witty one-liners. The highlight of the night was when they passionately sang “My Way,” only to interject with, “But, you know, sometimes it’s okay to ask for directions.” Their unique blend of humor and linguistic dexterity had us all in stitches, making for an unforgettable night.

The key to appreciating the charm and humor of the Englishero drunk is to embrace their quirks and enjoy the ride. After all, their sudden linguistic transformation can lead to some unforgettable moments and hilarious exchanges. So, the next time you encounter an Englishero drunk, grab a drink, sit back, and prepare for a night filled with laughter, wit, and perhaps even some impressive vocabulary lessons.

Read next: Hoppy Hour: Discover the 9 Best Craft Beers in Manila

Conclusion

As we’ve explored the various types of drunks, it’s important to remember the value of friendship and understanding. Each of these personalities can bring something unique to the table, and by embracing their quirks, we can create unforgettable memories and strengthen our bonds. After all, it’s our ability to accept and support one another, even in our most inebriated states, that truly defines the essence of camaraderie.

Now that we’ve shared our experiences with these nine types of drunks, we encourage you, dear readers, to share your own stories. Have you encountered any of these personalities during your nights out? Maybe you’ve even played the role of one or more of them yourself! We’d love to hear your tales of laughter, friendship, and maybe even a little bit of drama.

And finally, as we part ways, let’s not forget the importance of drinking responsibly. It’s all fun and games until someone gets hurt or takes things too far. So, as you venture out for your next inuman session, remember to enjoy the night with friends, look out for one another, and always keep the spirit of pakikisama alive. Cheers to unforgettable nights and lasting friendships!