Laugh Out Loud: 34 Filipino Dad Jokes to Make Your Day

Filipino dad jokes are a staple of our culture’s humor, and as a self-proclaimed jokester, I have a deep appreciation for them. In the Philippines, we have a unique talent for crafting a good joke, whether it’s a timeless ‘Why did the chicken cross the road?’ or a clever comment about our politicians. Our ability to weave humor into the fabric of our daily lives is unparalleled. Among these comedic gems are the beloved dad jokes—those puns that make us groan and roll our eyes, yet we can’t help but adore them.

Buckle up and get ready for a laughter-filled journey as I share with you some of the best Filipino dad jokes, each one guaranteed to tickle your funny bone and showcase the light-hearted side of Filipino wit.

More Jokes: 30 Filipino Dad Jokes na Swak sa Tawa at Kiliti ng Bawat Pilipino

Filipino Dad Jokes

Anong ibig sabihin ng ‘Conclusion’ at ‘Opinion’? Eh di sa Conclusion, hindi ka pwede pumasok, kasi ‘conclusion’ (kung close yun). Sa Opinion naman, pwede ka pumasok, kasi ‘opinion’ (open yun)!
What is a Filipino’s favorite pie? Tinapay!
What is Michael Jackson doing at men’s department store? Edi…. Bili Jean!
What did the bangus say to the other bangus? Help me! I’m daing!
Anong tawag sa shampoo pag nabawasan ng isa? Edi sham na lang!
What do you get when you lose your Kia car? Nokia
What do you call a magician when he lose his magic? Ian
What days are the strongest? Saturday and Sunday. The other, weekdays.
Bakit “Father” ang tawag sa manga pari? Kasi masyadong suspicious kung tinawag silang… Daddy!
Two years go nang hinahanap yung killer ng ex-girlfriend ko… I’m not sure why… walang gustong gumawa.
Bakit bawal umutot sa loob ng Apple Store? Kasi wala silang Windows
Ano ang similarity ng utot at tula? Pareho silang galing sa.. POET
Bakit maswerte ang kalendaryo? Dahil marami siyang date
What sound does a Filipino horse make when it gallops? Tagalog-tagalog-tagalog-tagalog…. Tagalog-tagalog-tagalog-tagalog.
What do you call two Filipino pilots? A pair of pliers
What do you call a Filipino contortionist? A manila folder!!!
Why didn’t the Filipino banana go to work today? He wasn’t peeling well.
How many Filipinos can you fit on a jeepney? One more.
What did the Filipino guy told the room service lady? Pack dis sheet I’m out.
Why are all the Filipino women single? Because they don’t know where their mangoes
Ano ang pwede mong gawin sa gabi na hindi mo pwedeng gawin sa umaga? MAGPUYAT.
Ano ang makukuha mo sa baboy na magaling mag-karate? PORK CHOP!
Ano ang karaniwang sakit ng mga martial arts champion? Eh di KUNG FLU!
Ano ang paboritong palaman ng MMDA? TRAFFIC JAM!
Anong isda ang mahilig mambola? Fishball!
Anong tawag sa fish na peke?

Filipino, a Chinese man, and a Japanese guy are in a bar having a drink. When a gorgeous woman comes up to them and says, Whoever can use the words ‘liver’ and ‘cheese’ in a creative sentence can have me for tonight. So the Chinese guy says I love liver and cheese. She says That’s not good enough The Japanese man says I hate liver and cheese She says That’s not creative Finally, the Filipino says Liver alone, cheese mine!
Knock knock Who’s there? Neighbor Neighbor who? Neighbor mind. I’ll find someone else.
Knock knock Who’s there? Tuna Century Tuna Century who? On the first day of Christmas my Tuna Century!
Knock knock Who’s there? Paksiw Paksiw who? What does the paksiw? ding ding ding ding…
Knock knock Who’s there? Yun oh! Yun oh who? How did Yun oh! I needed someone like you in my life.
Knock knock Who’s there? Albay Albay who? Albay myself, don’t wanna be… Albay myseeellff.
Knock knock Who’s there? Melon… Melon who? Melon melon sinta, buko ng papaya!
Knock knock Who’s there? Mentos… Mentos who? Mentos, my knees, my shoulder, my head.
Knock knock Who’s there? Bobo ka… Bobo ka who? Bobo ka ang bulaklak, dadaan ang reyna, sasayaw ng chacha, ang saya saya!

So there you have it, folks! A collection of the best Filipino dad jokes that will surely brighten up your day. Whether you’re in Manila or anywhere in the world, a good laugh is always a great way to lift your spirits. Let’s keep the humor going and spread some joy to those around us.